we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
