tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
