Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
did i walk over a car last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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