Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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