Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
