woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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