You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
