I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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