Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
