Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
