Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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