All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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