so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
