I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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