That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
