I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
