Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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