I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
why do cheetos always look like penises
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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