some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
