I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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