Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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