She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
