can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is my gift to your gina
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
