you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my being single is dangerous.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's never too late to be topless.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
