I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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