Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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