I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
