guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I understand Curling. That high.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
