Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
