we have officially lost it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize