He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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