my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
