I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
