Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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