He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize