I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
