I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
