guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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