i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
