Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
