am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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