its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize