She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
