she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize