I heard we made out
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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