Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
