come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
