No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
