I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A bitchslap is in order.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize