I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
