Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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