he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
