This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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