you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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