hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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