Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
