There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
