the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
