This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
