Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
