last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
did i just pee glitter
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
