so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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