I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize