How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
